Already and Always Enough

A Prayer of Confession from The Merry Mystic

Forgive me, Father, for I have multitasked…

P.S. — Here’s the text of that poem.

Already and Always Enough

The hardest commandment you ever gave me, 
	dear Spirit-Friend, was this:
		to enjoy being alive, and
		to speak for the joy of being alive.
And I need your help now, because
	I’m screwing it up.
Yes, still.

I am guilty of impossible yes-ing:
	yes to one project on top of another,
	yes to writing, composing, and singing, 
	yes speaking, preaching, recording, and posting,
	yes to everyone who calls, emails, or walks into my office,
	yes, yes, yes.

I am guilty of egregious multitasking.
This past week, I worked on writing while 
	not enjoying a movie at home with my family.
I worked on a speech while
	not enjoying a hot shower.
I worried about my church while
	not enjoying lying in my warm bed.

In short, I was a fraud.
I posed as a speaker for the joy of being alive while
	not enjoying being alive.

And I was ungrateful, another great sin.
I was like a child 
	who counts up his birthday presents and then
	complains that there are not enough of them.
I wished for more hours in every day, and
	more productivity, and
	more money.
I said, in the silence of my heart,
	I need more power.

And, forgive me, but that was a prayer.
It was to you that I spoke, dear Spirit-Friend, when I said it.
To you I said, Help me, and I need more,
	but what I really meant was:
You’re not helping me enough.
What you’ve given me is not enough.
What I am is not enough.

So please, may I ask for your help again?
This time, I’ll stipulate that when I say,
	Help me,
What I really mean is,
	Help me to see how your help 
	is already and always enough.

O Spirit-Friend, please help me:
	to enjoy your abundance, 
	and to enjoy being abundant,
	and to know how it is enough, and I am enough,
		already and always.

Amen.

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5 thoughts on “Already and Always Enough

  1. You did bring joy and a worshipful experience at Vitality Day. It is hard to say no or notice your limits when you have so many gifts that inspire and make people think. I can do that and well! you might say. But your Spirit-friend begs to differ. Take time to be holy and thank you for the beautiful prayer.

  2. Sigh. Yes. Please post the text of the whole prayer. Or, I guess I should say: take a note to add this to your to-do list ASAP!

    The clouds over the mountains were magnificent this morning – huge thunderheads moving at speed in different directions, dwarfing the city in massive displays, with brilliant sunrise on one side and dark threatening shadows on the other – the kind of thing that can stop you in your tracks and just cause you to stare slack-jawed and awe-struck as the wind whips through your hair. But here we all were, in our cars in traffic, driving to work, thinking of appointment and projects past due and focused on the bad driver in front of us. If a burning bush appeared, would we notice? As the prophet, Pink Floyd, said “…Out of the way! It’s a busy day. I’ve got things on my mind…”