Have you ever had someone who keeps embarrassing you in public—someone you feel like you have to keep apologizing for?

Someone … or something?

I have. And I’ve written a song about it. Without a band, I can’t do this one live, so here it is as an mp3.

In case the lyric went by too fast, here it is in full:

I'm So Done

We're out with friends and I'm afraid you'll say something offensive:
A sexist screed or racist rant that's coarse and comprehensive,
And I'll be left to patch it up with people you've offended,
And claim that what they heard you say was not what you intended.

But now I'm so done
Being your apologizer,
Yeah, I'm so done,
And I'm just a little wiser.
I was your bold excuser
And your liar and your loser,
But my spin control is spun,
And I'm done.
 
You turn their heads and everybody finds you hypnotizing,
Until you turn obnoxious and I start apologizing.
You stun the room, and I'm supposed to make some explanation.
How did it get to be my job to save your reputation?
 
But now I'm so done
Being your apologizer,
Yeah, I'm so done,
And I'm just a little wiser:
I was your chief excuser
And your liar and your loser,
But my spin control is spun,
And now I'm done.
 
You're beautiful, except for each and every ugly bit.
You're full of truth and wisdom, and you're also full of what fans hit.
You're peace and love and joy, and then you're homicidal rage,
With healing balm and poison pill on almost every page!

You threaten us with snakes if we complain about the rations,
You threaten us with plagues if we belong to other nations,
You threaten kids with bears if they go teasing balding leaders,
And you threaten them with stoning if they're stubborn little bleaters.
 
But now I'm so done
Being your apologizer,
Yeah, I'm so done,
And I'm just a little wiser:
I was your cheap excuser
And your liar and your loser,
But my spin control is spun,
And now I'm done.
 
You said that God forbids us kill, and that he helps us do it.
You said the world was ending, but somehow we all lived through it.
You said that you were perfect, and that we should all respect you,
And you said that God would curse us if we ever should correct you.
 
But now I'm so done
Being your apologizer,
Yeah, I'm so done,
And I'm just a little wiser:
I was your lame excuser
And your liar and your loser,
But my spin control is spun,
and now I'm done.

But now I'm so done
Being your apologizer,
Yeah, I'm so done,
And I'm just a little wiser:
I was your sad excuser
And your liar and your loser,
But my spin control is spun,
and now I'm done.

Here’s a new hymn about, of all things, the fear of God: not the anticipatory fear of God’s punishment, but the trembling response to God’s mystery and grandeur.

[youtube id=2o_PtQ9LNSI]

Sheet music for “But Still I Tremble” is available in our Free Stuff area.

What could be more joyful, and therefore more God-ful, than Jingle Bells? And then, why can’t we sing it in church? Perhaps a few new verses would help …

[youtube id=zMYc0yYTM9Y]

Here’s the original first verse, along with my two doxological verses:

Jingle Bell Dox

Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O’er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tail ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
     a sleighing song tonight!

The sleigh that glides along,
The horse that knows the way,
The harmony of song,
The snow inviting play,
The spirits growing bright,
The laughter and the fun,
They shine the light and fill the night 
     with praises of the One!

The sleigh is gliding God,
The horse is snorting God,
The fields are growing God,
The bells are ringing God,
The snow is drifting God,
The speed is thrilling God,
And yes, this moldy, golden oldy 
     song is singing God!