I’ve spent most of my life immersed in a received Christian tradition that refers to God as male. It’s almost always “He cometh,” and “bless His name,” and “praise Him;” almost never “She cometh,” and “bless Her name,” and “praise Her.” Intellectually, I don’t want to think of God has having a specific gender. But under the weight of all that gendered language, it’s hard not to.

Here’s my own little contribution to address the imbalance: a song called “The Lady Loves Me.”

Do you have an ideal of what a “real man” should be like?

Popular culture seems very confused about this. Action films tend to have leading men who are vengeful and aggressive, quick with their fists and their guns. (There are a few exceptions, of course. God bless Dwayne Johnson!) Our national politics also seems to reward men who are aggressive, abusive, boastful, self-serving, and untruthful.

My father taught me something completely different about what real men are like.This song is dedicated to my father, who turns 85 today. Happy Birthday, Papa!

Update, 4/20/2019: I’ve been asked to post the lyrics to this song. Here they are:

Real Men

by Adam Brooks Webber

So I said, Daddy, when I grow up, I want to be a real man. And he said, Son, I know you can do it. Let me just give you a little advice.

Real men are kind and polite,
Not like in the movies on Saturday night,
Short-tempered and quick with a fist or gun.
That ain’t a man, my son.

Real men are quietly strong.
They’re never abusive. That’s totally wrong.
Bombastical bragging is way too weak.
Real men let action speak.

Real men are ready to work,
Not serving themselves. That just makes you a jerk.
They care for their families, their friends, their town,
Help you up when you’re down.

Real men are honest for sure,
Not fibbing or fudging. That’s so immature.
They may not say much, son, but when they do,
Every word is true.

Real men are kind and polite,
Daddy said as he tucked me in tight for the night.
Remember my words, son, and when you do
You’ll be a real man too.

This heartfelt prayer goes out to all my fellow pastors. Haven’t you sometimes wished your church had a better value proposition—something that was a bit easier to sell?

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It was so much easier in the old days, when we could just threaten ’em with hell. God, I miss the screaming ….